Random travelers now have a choice of getting xray images taken of them without their clothes on or being intimately felt up for several minutes by a stranger. The back of the hand for a few seconds is gone. That is now a fable for the grand kids. It is now front-of-hand for minutes. Neither option effectively detects what they are looking for and cargo still isn’t screened but it makes for great profits and population scare tactics. The companies with government connections get overpaid for equipment. Citizens get reminded every time they fly that they must do as they are told in the name of security.

Never mind that dogs are far more effective at finding explosives. The corporate profits, the lobbying kickbacks and the power quotient just isn’t as high with canines.

Solution

Take a drug. A big pharmaceutical company is working on the antidote. “Feeling violated? Ask about Securilex and you won’t care about what just happened to you. Start your vacation from reality before you get to the airport.”

A rush of perverted feelings

I can see the job applications starting now. Every closet child molester and pervert is going to line up for these jobs. They get to choose who they get to feel up for several minutes. Kids, women, men, anyone they have a fetish for at the moment. Eight year old boys? Got them. Small children with medical conditions? Pay extra attention to those. Strip search them. Airport travelers are going to get much uglier. Literally.

You too can get paid to do things to people that are illegal anywhere else. What’s wrong with cameras in dressing rooms? Or under bathroom stalls? Or up in the landlords attic? Don’t those places need to be secure too? Maybe everyone should get felt up as they leave the local Gap store.

Wait you say. Didn’t they already make a change for 12 and under? Yes, they did. It’s okay to feel your 13 year old daughters breast and genitals but not the undeveloped ones. And how exactly does one determine the age of a child when drivers licenses are still years away? Is anyone at a airport really going to listen to you when you say the age of your child? Birth certificates? Add another way to make identity theft easier as those get stolen and lost at airports. For the time being, a lot of teenagers are suddenly going to be under 12 for the sake of travel….At least until the next level of personal ID comes along for all of us to solve this new problem.

Skewed and false sense of security

At this point in time, prevention is up to passengers who are in the air. If there is a will, there is a way. Why wouldn’t a bad guy just get a job in security or the travel industry ahead of time? Are we sure that every single scrap of food and merchandise is secure in the shops on the other side of security? Not much can stop a sleeper yet we ignore that it can be done. Instead we have companies that profit from instilling fear to every day functions to drive another darker purpose under the surface. The same people who want to deny most people of health care are not really concerned about others security and well-being.

People still have pretty decent freedom to drive on roads. And a large percentage of them will die because it is one of the most dangerous things we do all the time. Now we even get sold little devices and apps that make it even easier to end your time on Earth and take others with you. Even if we lost a few airplanes a year, flying would still be safer than driving. But the cost to corporations and the power hungry would be higher.

I missed out on WWII, where can I stand in line now?

Just buy a ticket and join the fun. Once you’re in line though, you can’t leave. You can’t change your mind or you may be detained, fined and arrested. You have to keep moving forward into the chamber no matter what may happen to you. You even get to pay higher prices to do so as ticket prices are going up again. Government expenditures are going up as well. Where are the voices about spending on this one? Oh that’s right. Debt doesn’t count when it is for wars, security, military,  corporations, rich people, invasion of privacy, removing personal rights or anything that impacts ones own life. Debt only counts as a matter for protest and concern when someone tries to help the average citizen other then themselves.

Maybe the TSA could hire nightclub artists to feel everyone up. Dim the airports lights, put on some music and just do what some people pay for elsewhere. If they made it a tipping profession like a waitress, they could avoid minimum wage requirements and save money. Maybe even have a booth and charge a currency exchange rate on one dollar bills.

Survey says

The media is plastering the news with surveys that say people are fine with  the new security measures. The problem is that the survey is asking people who don’t fly, haven’t flown recently or can’t afford to fly in the first place. People sitting at home in their recliner with a IV of propaganda flowing into them as they wait for the phone to ring are not the proper people to ask.

It’s not about security. It’s not about freedom. That is so yesterday.

As of just before the Thanksgiving holiday, there are 385 advanced imaging technology machines located at 68 airports nationwide. Airports that have the technology include the following.

Airports that currently have imaging technology:

• Albuquerque International Sunport Airport
• Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport
• Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport
• Boston Logan International
• Bush Houston Interncontinental Airport
• Boise Airport
• Bradley International Airport
• Brownsville
• Buffalo Niagara International Airport
• Charlotte Douglas International
• Chicago O’Hare International
• Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International
• Cleveland International Airport
• Corpus Christie Airport
• Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport
• Denver International Airport
• Detroit Metro Airport
• Dulles International Airport
• El Paso International Airport
• Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International
• Fort Wayne International Airport
• Fresno Airport
• Gulfport International Airport
• Grand Rapids Airport
• Harrisburg International Airport
• Harlingen/Valley International Airport
• Honolulu International Airport
• Indianapolis International Airport
• Jacksonville International Airport
• John F. Kennedy International Airport
• Kansas City International
• LaGuardia International Airport
• Lambert/St. Louis International Airport
• Laredo International Airport
• Lihue Airport
• Los Angeles International
• Luis Munoz Marin International Airport
• McAllen Miller Airport
• McCarran International Airport
• Memphis International Airport
• Miami International Airport
• General Mitchell Milwaukee International Airport
• Mineta San José International
• Minneapolis/St.Paul International Airport
• Nashville International Airport
• Newark Liberty International Airport
• Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport
• Oakland International Airport
• Omaha Eppley Field Airport
• Orlando International Airport
• Palm Beach International Airport
• Philadelphia International Airport
• Phoenix International Airport
• Pittsburgh International Airport
• Port Columbus International
• Raleigh-Durham International Airport
• Richmond International Airport
• Rochester International Airport
• Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport
• Salt Lake City International Airport
• San Antonio International Airport
• San Diego International Airport
• San Francisco International Airport
• Seattle-Tacoma International Airport
• Spokane International Airport
• T.F. Green Airport
• Tampa International Airport
• Tulsa International Airport

Airports adding imaging technology soon:

• Chicago Midway International Airport
• Houston William P. Hobby Airport
• Saipan International Airport

It has nothing to do with security. It’s the same old story. You need to follow the money.

Who is the chief lobbying guru behind the company that has the airport screening machine contract? Former Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff and buddy of ex-President G.W. Bush, along with Chad Sweet, former Director of Operations for the CIA. The Chertoff Group’s leadership team is comprised of former high-level employees of the DHS, CIA, NSA, and FEMA. The same people that create the threats that create the market for such a machine to then be sold to the government. Would that kind of deal happen to the ordinary American company out there with a idea?

What private company traveled with President Obama on a recent trip to India and very little is said about it? Yes, that same one (more on that bit of information here).

What do you think?

Airport security is really just a joke that we can’t laugh about. With the goal to get through security as fast and as easy as possible, we have to keep our mouths shut. Don’t joke. Don’t use sarcasm. Don’t make comments about the process. Don’t address personnel unless they speak to you first. One wrong comment can mean that you are being screened and harassed for hours on end. In air travel, you lose most of any rights that you thought you had. They can hold you captive at the airport. They can hold you captive on the plane for hours on end without food, water or facilities. And we are still no more safe than before because anyone who is determined to do something can do it.

So here is a step by step of what I do when I travel:

Be very polite and use good manners. Say good morning or good afternoon. Say please and thank you when you can. You may be surprised at the reaction you get. Most of the staff immediately change their demeanor for the better towards you because a positive word at an airport is so rare these days.

Just prior to getting into the screening line, I take everything out of my pockets and off my person tuck it into a separate outside closing pocket on my carry-on bag. This way you don’t have to use those little trays and have all your items out in the open and visible. For those that you can do easily, it is best to take out any body piercing jewelry that you may have as well. Hold onto your ticket and passport/ID. Everything else goes. This includes my watch, my cell phone, ring, wallet, coins, pens and my hand sanitizer. Do the same with anything else that you carry in your pockets. You can then open this pocket on the other side of security and put it all back on your person for the rest of your travels.

Take off your belt and any other clothing accessories that could set something off.

Prevent theft at the security machines

You never want your stuff on one side of security while you are on the other. If I was a crook and based on what I witness all the time, this would be such a great place to hangout. People are vulnerable, distracted and the authorities really don’t give a darn about your stuff. Security can’t leave their post to run after someone who steals your valuables. So it’s totally up to you to prevent theft and stay safe.

• Put your carry-on bag on the belt. Don’t let it start moving through the machine yet.
• Take off your shoes and jacket and place them in the first bin.
• Take your laptop out and put it in a bin by itself as well.
• Watch the metal detectors and the persons ahead of you.
• Only after the person immediately ahead of you has cleared, let your bags start going through the machine. Watch to make sure they have disappeared into the device.
• Walk through the detector clean and quiet (unless you have metal inside your body or unusual clothing. But you already know you are in for a hassle). You should then be able to walk over and watch your items exit the machine in front of you.

Collect your stuff, put on your belt and shoes, empty that outside pocket of stuff back into your own pockets and get on your journey. You are probably past the biggest hassle of your entire trip…until you go the airport to come home again.

By Adam Longfellow

Remember to take time zones into consideration when you fly. The departing time for a flight is the local time at the airport. The arrival time is the local time at the airport you are flying too. That is why you can sometimes fly to another city and arrive around the same time that you depart. Although I do travel more than the average person, it seems fairly simple to me until I listen to other people talking at airports. You’ll hear stuff like, we don’t need to eat. We get in at 1pm so the flight from Dallas to Phoenix is only an hour. When they are actually changing time zones and it’s closer to two and a half hours. Then I look at the little kids they have with them and I’m hoping I’m not on their flight when they get hungry.

As someone who has now lived in all three continental US time zones, it is interesting to have noticed the differences. It does affect many things like business, relationships, sporting events and television. People on the east coast will commonly call you at what may be 6:30am where I am. Some of them will even acknowledge their city and my city and seem to know where they are yet wonder why I’m not answering the phone.

The basics

LA-NY 3 hours difference. You go three hours ahead when heading to NY and you get three hours back when going to LA. Chicago is one hour back from NY. Denver and Albuquerque are two hours back from NY. The most common mistaken time zone I had was related to Michigan. Although it’s far from it, it is on east coast time while Indiana to the south can be in two time zones. And I lived for years in Arizona where the time didn’t change at all. Everything else did. You just had to remember when your tv shows changed by an hour or a relative was now an hour off.

Traveling over a time change weekend is another fun one. It can be good if it brings you closer to your normal time zone but bad when it goes the other way. Why do we have daylight savings any more? Why not just pick one time and stick to it? It would solve a minor little problem. Then we just have to remember the various zones.

It will be interesting to watch future developments in the market. I think the first airlines to have good wifi and is reliably on all flights would get more business travelers. I know I would look for it. But do they charge for it or offer it as a perk to get those customers? Right now, it is only on certain airplanes with many different airlines. So you never know if you’ll have it until you are on the flight.

If you are a business person, productivity can actually be quite high without wifi. You can write up emails, memos, expense reports or articles ahead of time. Work on those spreadsheets or photos. Although the internet opens up things that you can do on your laptop, it also will lead to time wasted on all kinds of websites, email and social media services.

The essential story here is that if you book a less-than-minimum connection on websites like Travelocity, Priceline or even the airline website and don’t make it, the airline doesn’t owe you a fix and is no under obligation to do anything about it. It is considered an illegal flight or hot connection. Not exactly terms that sound like friendly skies? They really shouldn’t offer these flights but I see them displayed all the time.

You need to make sure you book at least the minimum connection between flights. And this information isn’t listed on those search results. You can easily just go by the price and book a flight with a connection that is too short for anyone but a magical wizard.

If you’ve ever booked your own flight, you’ve noticed that you are offered connections with times as low as 30 minutes to as long as 13 hours. You probably want something in between. I believe that 75-90 minutes is ideal for any major city airport to be fairly comfortable. Sixty minutes is pretty good for places like Salt Lake City, Albuquerque, Cincinnati and many others. And I choose cities like these over the ones below whenever possible. The wild card is that you don’t know where the gates of your flights will be until the last minute. You could have gates right next to each other. So you have a short walk and lots of time to enjoy the ambiance. Or you could arrive at the far end of one terminal and have to go the far end of an entirely different terminal for the next flight. Maybe the moving walkway or tram link is working at full speed. Or maybe not.

So what are the minimum times? I’m glad you asked and I list them below for some of the largest connection airports. I personally recommend that the average person add a half hour to these times to be safe and comfortable. Add even more time with children or if you have trouble moving around quickly. Traffic delays, runway delays, storms and fellow passengers all cause problems about 20% of the time. Do you want to be biting your nails, watching the time nervously, running through the crowds and then board your next flight after all the carry-on space is taken? Do you want to wait hours for another flight? Do you want to sleep at the airport? Or would you rather just stroll the airport, use the restroom, get a drink, shop, read and check your messages for little bit of extra time?

Minimum connection times for some major airports in the United States. Again, I would add a minimum of 30 minutes to all these times for my choices and even more in storm seasons.

Atlanta

ATL – Hartsfield-Jackson (10 miles from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 55 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour
International to Domestic – 1 hour 30 minutes
International to International – 1 hour 30 minutes

Boston

BOS – Logan International (3 miles from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 40 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour
International to Domestic – 1 hour 30 minutes
International to International – 1 hour 15 minutes

Chicago

ORD – O’Hare (11 mile from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 50 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour 15 minutes
International to Domestic – 1 hour 30 minutes
International to International – 1 hour 30 minutes

MDW – Midway (18 miles from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 25 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour
International to Domestic – 1 hour
Inter-airport ORD to/from MDW – 2 hours 40 minutes

Dallas Fort Worth

DFW – Dallas/Ft Worth International (12 miles from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 50 minutes
Domestic to International – 50 minutes
Domestic to Canada – 50 minutes
International to Domestic – 1 hour 10 minutes
Canada to Domestic – 50 minutes
International to International – 1 hour 10 minutes

Denver

DEN – Denver International (23 miles from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 50 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour
International to Domestic – 1 hour
International to International – 1 hour

Houston

IAH – George Bush Intercontinental (20 miles from city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 45 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour
International to Domestic – 1 hour
International to International – 1 hour 15 minutes

Los Angeles

LAX – Los Angeles International (10 miles from Los Angeles city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 1 hour 10 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour 30 minutes
International to Domestic – 2 hours
International to International – 2 hours

Miami

MIA – Miami International (7 miles NW of Miami city center)
Domestic to Domestic – 55 minutes
Domestic to International – 1 hour
International to Domestic – 1 hour 30
International to International – 1 hour 30

This morning, I actually walked up to airport security area and all the lines were waiting for me. I didn’t wait for a single person. It was a somewhat early flight at 7:25 but I went out at the same time and day of the week earlier in the year and the line was fairly heavy. It may be a fluke but it was surprising.

So if you can travel, now is a even better time to take advantage of the market. Lower prices and easier travel. Who knows how long it will last.

Photo by fidophoto

People watching. Airports are great for this. You see people from all over the world in various states of consciousness and moods. You see joyful reunions and tearful departures. You see anger and frustration in between hangovers and mourners.

Wifi. The use of laptops and smart phones is rampant and a good way to pass the time. Hopefully you are not paying for it.

Free Magazines. It may be to launch a new product, get more readers or just deal with excess copies, but many times you can find stand alone racks of free magazine and newspapers in some airports.

TV. Many airports have tv screens. It may not be handy for most seats or it may not be something you want to watch but it’s there.

Playgrounds. Many airports have play areas for the kids. They are usually a bit more dirty and well-used than I would like. Make sure you enforce a policy of hand washing or hand sanitizers.

Shopping. If you want to pay extra for all kinds of things, you can do it at airports. From clothes to massages to medical services.

Photo by Lora Quinto

Drinking. Coffee is better than alcohol. At least if you are on my flight. Drinking and flying don’t mix well. It may even make a certain percentage of people mentally off balance at high altitude, yet airlines and airports like to promote it and make money from it.

Photo by hellochris

Pray. If you are religious, you can probably find a chapel at most airports. You can pray for family and friends. You can pray for yourself. You can pray that your flight lands safely and on time.

The second leg of my flight, which was from Phoenix to San Diego, brought an announcement. Because of our shorter flight today and number of passengers, we will not be providing the usual drink service. This brought a few thoughts to my head.

• Did San Diego move closer to Phoenix today?
• Was there an earthquake I didn’t know about?
• Did the plane grow in size today?
• I wasn’t given a discount for a shorter flight today and I didn’t make the schedule or select the plane. So why make it seem like we were special to not get service?

Okay. Now to be realistic. It was a short flight and it would have been difficult to roll that cart out for a large plane in the amount of travel time for this leg. And they did offer that you could ask an attendant for a drink if you really wanted one. But then I never saw a single flight attendant the entire flight. They never once walked down the aisle so you could even ask. Yes, I could have pushed the button but that just seemed pushy to me since I didn’t need anymore caffeine.

It is a better situation than Southwest Airlines. They are charging $10 for a similar practice of checking in online and getting on earlier. US Airways is still friendly to families and small children who need assistance. They let them board early where as Southwest now says to heck with them, they can board last.