The lack of direction is surprising. It’s near the beach but not relaxing. It tries to look relaxing but the staff has a touch of an attitude like they are a notch above customers and you are lucky to be there with them.

The hotel guests seem to be the last priority even though they spend hundreds of dollars per night. They added a restaurant and fancied up the courtyard area that has a small pool and a bar. This attracts a huge number of non-hotel guests every night. Are they a hotel or do they want to do parties and be a night club surrounded by rooms? If you’d like to join the party outside, you can wait about fifteen minutes to buy a really weak and watered down $12 drink. The restaurant food at Kitchen 1540 was quite good and even better than I expected. My $18 natural beef burger was certainly not cheap but it was very good and I would look forward to it again.

The room itself was nice and on the smaller side due to overall age of the complex. It has a couple of awkward spots where doors meet. You can’t go in and out of the room and have the closet open. You have to be careful with the shower door and the bathroom door. The climate control system worked great and the bed was luxurious. I thought it was very comfortable upon feel but it may have been too soft for my back after four nights.

Housekeeping did a fine job on their main task of cleaning the room but went too far for me. They disobeyed the do not disturb sign which kind of kills the whole point of the sign in my world. I heard they did this to another guest as well. They are also eager to knock your door at 8:15am on a Saturday morning after a noisy party keeps you up the night before. Housekeeping tossed or removed some things that I left on the desk. Yes, I wanted that ziplock bag for my liquids on my return trip through stupid airport security. If I don’t put it in the trash, it’s not trash. They packed up my bathroom products and placed them close to the floor in a cabinet. I don’t think that housekeeping should ever touch my personal hygiene items. They also left my balcony door unlocked after cleaning. The railings connect near others so this is not secure if someone really wanted to be a thief.

The hotel website laughably mentions sleeping with the windows open. With my doors and windows closed, my room was like being in the bathroom of a nightclub. Loud music and crowd noise outside the balcony that wasn’t actually usable because it put you next to a crowd like you are on a stage. Loud noise in the corridor outside the room as service people yell back and forth to each other to supply the party outside. They do try to quiet the crowds down and you may be able to hear your own TV by around 11pm. Now in hindsight, I am curious about how they throw parties and weddings and then ask people to quiet down and leave. It doesn’t seem ideal for either party goers or hotel guests.

After the party is over, you may be awakened by screaming and very foul language of drunk people hanging outside at 3am like I was most nights. Even if you took all those things away and left your windows open, you might then awake to think you feel asleep on train tracks. The road crossings go ding-ding and the trains rumble and blow horns from morning to night.

You may also want to consider arranging your own cab. My cab to the hotel from the airport was $60. On the eve of my departure, I asked the front desk to arrange a regular cab, not a private car, to the airport in the morning. They may have called it a cab but it was an unmarked car without a meter and the guy charged me $75. Was it a real service, a hotel service or a friend of the guy at the front desk? I don’t know. $15 may not break the bank but if they do that over and over to guests, the whole thing is a bit shady.

Although this review has a lot of complaints, I still enjoyed the location and had a good time on my own terms. Experiences are what you make of them and you have to find a way to enjoy every moment of life. If you wander up the driveway and avoid the cars, (the layout hints that they really don’t want you to easily leave the grounds) you can make it to the main street in town. There are some pricey restaurants nearby but there is also a nice pricey market across the street. For those that have pockets with a bottom, I stumbled upon a decent deli at the end of the L’Auberge block that let you eat and drink for less than $10. A one of a kind from what I found in the area.

I did not try the spa but I heard only great things about it. Like I said, the hotel has potential and would be great for a couple hundred a night. But if you are paying $400 to $500 a night in the end, it just doesn’t totally add up.

Credit: Andrésmh

The Capsule Inn

Don’t book a room here if you’re claustrophobic. It calls to mind a Seinfeld episode where Kramer hosts Japanese businessmen in his chest of drawers. Places like that do exist! In Japan, among other places. This place is hilarious. I’d probably stay there for one night just to say I did it.

The Ice Hotel

The Ice Hotel is a definite on the list of weirdest hotels. A hotel made only of ice? There is no electricity in this hotel, either. It’s lit by a series of fiber optic cables. If you’re a fan of the James Bond movie Die Another Day, you’ll love the idea of staying in an ice hotel.

Hotel Fox

The rooms at Hotel Fox really have a whimsical feel to them, and yet are clean and modern at the same time. I’m not quite sure I’m ready to book a room at Hotel Fox, but I’d certainly prefer this location over others on this list.

Woodlyn Park

Ever cashing in on the Lord of the Rings fame, New Zealand’s Woodlyn Park now offers a hobbit hotel. Sometimes you don’t know what’s missing in your life until you’re confronted by it. It’s charm is undeniable, but so is the cringe factor. If you dare to stay in a hobbit hotel, make sure to fit in with a pair of hobbit feet (they do exist for purchase).

Wigwam Motel

Fresh off of watching Dances With Wolves, you have the sudden urge to stay in a tepee? Look no further than the Wigwam Motel. It’s on the famous Route 66, and it is deliciously kitsch.

Dogbark Park Inn

I debated on whether to add this hotel to the list. It definitely fits the criteria of weirdness and what the heck?, but it’s so deeply disturbing to think that someone actually created a hotel in the shape of a dog. If you’re a major dog lover, this place is your nirvana.

Fantasyland Hotel

This one is fun and over the top. It features all types of themed rooms, from Safari Africa, to Ancient Rome, to the Wild West. It even has a truck room. I’m not sure why having a truck in one’s room is desirable, though.

Stay Orange

Try to escape orange at this hotel. You just can’t do it. And every picture you take here will be an advertisement for Stay Orange (see the walls). This is another claustrophobic location, with just a bit more wiggle room than the Capsule Hotel. It’s bound to make you happier, though, especially when you see the prices.

Propeller Island City Lodge

By far, the weirdest hotel you’ll ever check into! The Propeller Island City Lodge, located in Germany, is a collection of mind-bend, bizarre rooms. Some rooms feature coffins, instead of beds. Or, you can sleep in a cage. Ah, it reminds me of college all over again. Check out this site, and be stunned by what people actually pay money to stay in.

So, what’s your favorite from this list?

Which ones are consistently the best and won’t let you down? Just like the experiences we hear about we’ve probably all been to a great Best Western or a Holiday Inn and then to a terrible one. So what should you expect the next time you travel and book your favorite chain? If it’s a Four Seasons, you can safely expect a great experience. But not all of us can afford to stay there every time we travel. And even if we could, they may not have one near Grandma’s house. We need to have options and know what to look for in other cities. With some brands, you never know for sure. Many are franchises who just pay for a name and a sign. Then they are either sold or get a ton of bad reviews on TripAdvisor and change brands to start their reputation management anew. Does that statement go too far? We play what we like to call the “chain roulette” game and change individual location names on average between 200-300 times a month here at AllStays.com. And we checked into what we already noticed, over 80% of 2008 name changes were for hotels with a poor review record. The high end hotels do change occasionally but not nearly as often as when you go further down the list. If you don’t pay attention to addresses, you could book the same crappy hotel with another logo two years later thinking it’s a different one!

For the first time, we’ve taken just under ten years of reviews and comments that we’ve received and analyzed them. Here is our 2009 ranking of chains that have locations in North America with all direct links to the official websites. Extra Tip: You can bookmark this page it for the next time you need a complete list and don’t want to mess with searching around. You can also view all these chains alphabetically at our hotel chains guide.

1. Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts
2. Ritz-Carlton
3. JW Marriott
4. Sofitel
5. Fairmont Hotels & Resorts
6. Loews Hotels
7. Embassy Suites Hotels
8. W Hotels
9. Omni Hotels
10. InterContinental Hotels & Resorts
11. Renaissance Hotels & Resorts
12. Millennium Hotels and Resorts
13. Westin Hotels & Resorts
14. Marriott Hotels & Resorts
15. Hilton Hotels
16. Doubletree
17. Hyatt Hotels & Resorts
18. Wyndham Hotels & Resorts
19. Crowne Plaza Hotels & Resorts
20. Delta Hotels
21. Hyatt Place
22. Sheraton Hotels & Resorts
23. Radisson Hotels & Resorts
24. Hilton Garden Inn
25. Courtyard
26. Four Points by Sheraton
27. Drury Inn & Suites
28. Holiday Inn
29. Homewood Suites
30. Staybridge Suites
31. Residence Inn
32. TownePlace Suites
33. Hampton Inn/Suites
34. Best Western
35. Holiday Inn Express
36. Clarion
37. SpringHill Suites
38. Hawthorn Suites
39. Quality
40. Howard Johnson Hotels
41. Candlewood Suites
42. Extended StayAmerica
43. Homestead Studio Suites Hotels
44. Fairfield Inn
45. Wingate by Wyndham
46. Country Inns & Suites
47. Comfort Suites
48. Sleep Inn
49. Baymont Inn & Suites
50. La Quinta
51. Comfort Inn
52. Microtel Inns & Suites
53. Red Roof Inn
54. Ramada Inn
55. Super 8 Motel
56. Days Inn
57. Motel 6
58. Rodeway Inn
59. Econo Lodge
60. Travelodge
61. Knights Inn
62. Americas Best Value Inn